This Self-Care Sunday I am going to share about making time for yourself and holding space for yourself.
Do you often give, and give, and give to others and have a hard time giving time and energy to yourself? Are you the "helper friend" and feel drained? Are you busy with work, life, children, family? Or, do you feel like you don't take enough time for yourself?
Well, if these resonate with you or you are interested in personal growth then this blog post may be for you! I will share about healthy boundary setting, filling your personal bucket, the importance of making time for yourself.
Start Here:
Let's first refresh ourselves on self-care; self-care is is the maintenance and improvement of ourselves which can include but is not limited to personal health and wellness, personal development, and simply put, it is taking time for yourself. Self-care has a multitude of benefits.
Insight 1: Boundary Setting
Often we associate a boundary with a physical object, it is important to set emotional boundaries as well. Healthy boundaries can help foster your own identity, not allowing others to intrude on it. Positive psychology lists six advantages of healthy boundaries and self-care; good mental health, good emotional health, influence others' behavior, avoidance of burnout, developed identity, and developed autonomy.
After creating a boundary you not only have more emotional space, you have more time and energy to put towards yourself. For myself, I personally struggled with this for an extended amount of time. I felt this societal pressure of always being there for others regardless of my emotional health. The truth that I discovered after repetitive burnouts and built resentment for those I helped was, I need to fill my own bucket and take time for myself to be fully present for others. In order to fill your own bucket, you may need to create some healthy boundaries with those around you to provide yourself with more time and energy.
For more insight on boundary setting from personal experiences, Meagan, creator of the blog Grow Through Flow and I chatted about it in our conversation in the most recent Cultivate the Moments Podcast.
Insight 2: Filling Your Bucket
I remember in elementary school, grade 4 if I am not mistaken, having my teacher read the book, "How Full Is Your Bucket?" I remember my teacher talking about filling other's buckets and not taking from others buckets. Which at that age is a great learning experience and has made an impact on me. I challenge the book and say, it is time we start filling our own buckets before filling others. This means giving yourself compliments, gratification, and appreciation.
The bucket analogy can be used in many ways, in this book it is your emotional bucket. It explains, when we are interacting with others it can either fill our bucket or empty it. Recognizing this tie between your emotions and interpersonal relationships is very apparent for the benefits of healthy boundary setting.
Now, I mentioned filling your own bucket, this is doing things that are meaningful to you and uplift your mood. This is very individualized to you, so I invite you to think about what things 'fill your bucket'.
Bucket Filling: Gratitude Jar
With a mason jar or container of your choice create a 'gratitude jar', every day write down something you are grateful for. When you are having a down day take a minute to read a few of these. This is a great way to start filling your own bucket and being mindful of the good things around you.
Meaningful Activities
Often we find meaning and increased quality of life through recreation and leisure, so, what are some activities that bring meaning and happiness to you? I invite you to think about the five domains of wellness: physical, emotional, cognitive, social, and spiritual when considering your activities, finding a balance of the various domains.
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Insight 3: The Importance of Taking Time For Yourself
Often there is a sense of guilt in taking time for ourselves, mostly from internal pressure and often from external pressure as well. Often parents feel like a 'bad parent' if they take time for themselves. As the bucket filling analogy continues, you can't pour from an empty bucket.
By taking time for yourself you can replenish your bucket, not only having more for yourself, also having more to offer others.
Insight 4: Holding Space for Yourself
When I say, 'holding space for yourself' I am referring to mindfulness. By holding space for yourself, not only physically, but emotionally, you can mindfully be aware of your thoughts and actions. Through mindfulness, you are focused in the present moment, being non-judgemental of your experiences, instead, observing and describing them, and being accepting of the thoughts that you are having.
Holding space for yourself and allowing yourself to feel what you are going through instead of putting a bandaid on it allows you to take the time to learn more about what you are experiencing.
Learn More About Mindfulness:
Thank you for letting me share some ways to cultivate your moments.
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