This Self-Care Sunday I am going to get real with you and share about the not-so-fun but needed tasks of self-care.
Let's get real, there are many tasks that we push back and maybe we even start to repress. The truth about self-care is: self-care also includes difficult, reflective, and unenjoyable tasks.
So put your face masks and bath bombs down and pick up a journal, an open mind, and fasten your seat belt, because we are about to go on a journey.
The Not-So-Fun Tasks for Our Personal Well-being:
Trust me, I know it is much easier to put on a face mask and pretend that I have nothing more to do to better my own personal well-being too. It can be a daunting task to recognize that we have room for growth and that maybe we have negative coping mechanisms; and without creating room to recognize this it will be far more challenging to recognize and change.
Some Tasks (click for more information):
Journaling (your emotions - the good, the bad, and the ugly)
The Not-So-Fun Tasks of Adulting:
Adulting sounds like so much fun from the outside, and for the most part it can be. However, there are some not-so-fun tasks as well. Depending on if you are living with your parents, living alone, or owning a house there are lots of un-fun tasks we often overlook (and some of these tasks may be enjoyable for you and that is great too).
Some Tasks:
Doing your Taxes
Getting an Oil Change
Budgeting
Going to the Dentist
Doing a Deep Clean on the Washer/Dryer
Scrubbing the Bathroom/Tub
Paying Bills
& More
The Not-So-Fun Tasks For Interpersonal Relationships:
What? I thought friends and interpersonal relationships were supposed to be rainbows and butterflies?! Well, let's get real, relationships of any kind can come with challenges, differences of opinions, and more. The beauty of everyone is: we are all unique individuals with different opinions, views, personal struggles, and backgrounds, and to be empathetic towards someone who is innately different can be challenging at best. As we grow and change on our own sometimes our relationships must change as well, and that is natural.
Some Tasks (click for more information):
Cutting Ties With Toxic Relationships (not just romantic)
Learning How to Communicate (This may sound silly & I can confirm that I have completely changed after two communication classes)
The Positives:
After digging deep and recognizing that self-care can be challenging, I now want to recognize the positives that can come from doing your work.
The Not-So-Fun Tasks for Our Personal Well-being Positives:
To start, let's talk about working on our personal-well-being. I think it is vital in life to recognize that personal growth is a continuous, ongoing process throughout life and that it should not be shameful to have areas you need to grow in. No one is perfect, and that is okay, we should never expect that of ourselves as it is unachievable.
So, why? Why should you work on your personal-well-being and strive for personal growth? Well, in order to change something you must acknowledge that there is something to change, and after changing it you may feel a sense of fulfillment and achievement. For example, I was previously scared to be alone with my thoughts and do self-reflection as I knew I had a lot of work to do, and that overwhelmed me. When I started doing self-reflection in small steps (one thing at a time is helpful) and became honest with myself I then gave myself the opportunity to work on my "stuff". I recognize that looking inward can be a lot, even more so when you have "shut-off" that portion of your life for an extended period of time. And I promise you, although it is difficult it has so many payoffs for yourself and your interpersonal-relationships. Lastly, I want to remove any shame you may feel about the need to seek professional help for this, it is okay and it is completely normal.
The Not-So-Fun Tasks of Adulting Positives:
Well, I guess we have to accept that we are growing up/grown up and that there is adulting to be done. Although these seem to be tedious tasks and are annoying for many, they are often what make our lives function and work well. There can be visual accomplishments, financial accomplishments, and more by doing these not-so-fun tasks.
The Not-So-Fun Tasks For Interpersonal Relationships Positives:
As humans, we innately rely on human contact and although there are some perceived struggles there are also a lot of benefits. By working on your interpersonal-relationships you can feel a greater sense of belonging, connection, understanding, and acceptance.
To give a personal example of me prior to doing self-work and after, let me share how I previously showed anger (defensiveness/wall-building) towards people when they give me feedback instead of listening to what they had to say. Well, from personal experience I can tell you that this builds a two-way wall, you build a wall so you can't hear what the other person is saying and the other person builds a wall because they don't feel heard. At the end of all of this, if you step out of your ego and allow for feedback and criticism you may benefit from what they have to say and learn something you may need to work on. It is important to learn constructive criticism in this case.
To conclude, by doing these tasks and creating a greater understanding of others, you can also 1) stop putting energy into draining relationships 2) recognize areas of growth 3) gain empathy for yourself and others.
"It is never too late to be who you might have been"
- George Eliot
Important Notes:
Take your time and recognize personal growth as a process that looks different for everyone.
Work on one thing at a time, this may minimize the overwhelming feeling of "having to fix everything".
Be accepting of yourself, recognize that "failure" allows us to reflect and grow and is a normal part of the beautiful process we call life.
Ask for support. Doing the not-so-fun tasks of self-care can be draining and sometimes we need someone to help us or someone to listen.
Thank you for letting me share some ways to cultivate your moments.
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